Do you ever wake up in the morning wishing you could call in sick to life that day?
Like, "Hey, umm, God, I'm not feeling like facing a few things today, can I just check out for a bit and come back when I'm feeling better?" 'Cause I have.
January 3rd ish, 2011:
Amy (ER nurse manager): "Hello, this is Amy."
Shelly: "Umm, hi, Amy. It's Shelly. How are you?"
Amy: "I'm doing well, how are you?"
Shelly: "Well, listen. I don't really know how to say this, but I think I'm going to need some time off. I feel kind of silly asking, and I don't want you to think I'm telling a sob story or anything, but I could probably use just the rest of the week off."
Shelly: "Yeah. It's just, in a nutshell, my fiance, or ex fiance now is kind of in jail. Long story, he's addicted to oxycontin and stole my credit card and a bunch of stuff. So I really appreciate it. And I'm glad I can tell you. Thank you."
Amy: "Oh, I'm sorry...you know, things like this happen. Go ahead and take your time. Just remember not to take too much time away from work, make sure you get back into a routine of things..."
Shelly: "Oh I will. Thanks so much. I should be back next week."
Pretty sure I tried to have the same conversation with God, but it didn't go quite that way. My body tried so hard to "check out". I was spacey. Headaches. Wanted to faint every time I stood up. But there's no checking out of life.
I remember asking my Mom if I could just be in a coma for a couple of days, then wake up and I would be fine. It's called the shock stage. My body and mind were trying to make some sort of sense in what happened that whirlwind of an afternoon on December 28th. And all of December. November. October. Back to the end of September....
By that time Ben (name has been changed so I don't get sued or whatever) and I had been together 6 months, and we were in love. So much that we started talking about getting married and starting a family. At that time, Ben was talking to the LDS missionaries. I stayed out of the whole process, so I didn't feel like I was pressuring him. I had told him I'd marry him no matter what he chose.
He got baptized in October, and moved up to Utah that weekend from Las Vegas. (Note to self, never date someone from there again.) We got engaged October 30th before a Halloween party. Was I ready? Good question. Is anyone ever truly ready for that?
November ensued, and cue in the sound of a bomb slowly descending from the sky. You can ignore it while it's falling until it hits the ground, right? And things started to change.
Don't you always hear that line when someone says what went wrong in a relationship? Is it me? Is it him? Something's not right, here. We argued. We'd never argued before. Was it stress of him being baptized? Getting engaged? Moving? Yeah, that's it. It's all stress from life changes.
Fast forward a bit. I made some cupcakes at Christmas time and invited a few friends over. Ben was sitting on the couch, nodding off while everyone else was laughing. I made some comment about him needing to get his blood sugar checked. He agreed, said it's crazy how tired he gets when his blood sugar is low, even though he just had a couple cupcakes....yeah. Low blood sugar.
So all this brings you up to speed for the juicy part.