There's really no underwear for this one.

I know my blog is about underwear. Or the things that happen to me while I'm wearing said underwear. No, it is not suggestive. I do not wear said underwear in front of a mirror making kissy faces and seductively posing. Sorry, kids. It's just not happening.

Anyhew, all kidding aside, it's Father's Day. I woke up this morning, entirely grateful that I have a Dad to call. Who I know is there. Who I know will listen. Yes, we have our differences. But that's because he raised a daughter with an entirely too alert and stubborn mind. At the end of the day, I'm so blessed to say I have a Dad that is there - that truly cares about me, and just wants me to have the best in life.

I know I'll understand things a little more one day when I have a child of my own. And heaven help me when that does happen. I can only imagine the stubborn-ness multiplying with each generation I pass my genes on to. But today I can't help but be overwhelmed with memories of all the times my Dad was there, and will be there for all the best moments of my life.

Happy Father's Day :)

i'm on vacation, suckas.

Well, I was. For a week. In Maui...seriously gorgeous. I didn't think I could ever be in love with a piece of land, but it's true. True love. Clear, turquoise water, precious little sea turtles, perfect weather, mocha men with tattoos....seriously Shelly heaven.

I went with my bestie Lindsey (who lives in Dallas), and Lisa and Kate - nurses I work with. Funnest. Girls. Ever. We made time to relax on the beach every day and work on our tans...or my "peachiness" in my case. When we weren't laying out we rode bikes down Haleakala - huge dormant volcano, rode scooters around Lahaina, snorkeled in Molokini crater, attempted to paddle surf, and finished out the week with a fantastic surf lesson and luau. I was seriously physically ill when I had to come back to reality. Only because I was totally crushing on this little island called Maui.

Some of the stories that happened will not ever be disclosed outside the "circle of trust", a.k.a. the girls, but suffice it to say there are some things I will definitely remember the rest of my life.

Going on vacay made me a bit reflective. Maybe it's because I finally had time to wind down and look back at the past 5 months of my life? My life is now a total of 24 years, but there's definitely a landmark at the 'five months ago'. If you know me well enough, you will know what that landmark is. I hate that it's a landmark. I hate that it happened. But on the opposite spectrum, I am totally grateful. Grateful for an experience so big, bigger than I ever could have even imagined would happen in my little world, it's made me re-evaluate everything I thought I knew.

While I was a little sentimental one morning, watching the Maui sunrise, I texted the ex. Why, why, why? I asked myself the same thing. I told him I hoped he is getting help. And reminded him of places to turn for help. Probably useless. But I felt like I needed to say it. Our conversation previous to this one ended not-so-peacefully, so I guess I was looking to fix that. And according to the Chinese zodiac, I am a rabbit. I seek for peace in my life. So I have to go with what the Chinese zodiac says......right?

Sometimes I feel guilty, and ask myself if I should have done more. If I should have done more to help the person I had planned on spending the rest of my life with. Mostly because in the same situation, I would hope someone would show me a little mercy. I know I have my own problems and vices, and what makes them different from his? What makes a problem so big it affects a relationship with someone else? Just curious if anyone has any thoughts.

I've always had this theory, well, since the 'landmark', that there are two factors to a person's issues. One, if they are honest about it. Two, how much it affects other people. The ex, sadly, totally dominated both of those factors...not honest, and let it harm quite a few other people. This all could be justification. Or just some deep thinking here.

But to wrap it all up, by texting the ex, and giving some well-wishes, I took a vacation for myself. A vacation from hurt, from anger, from sadness, from frustration with him and myself. By forgiving others we forgive ourselves.

I love Maui.

P.S. Pictures to come soon!

uncomfortable situations.

So I was fresh out of clean, cute undies. What did I revert to? My backups. You know, the ones that give me perma-wedgie. And you, my friends, are not getting a picture of that. Sorry to get your hopes up.

No seriously. Perma-wedgie can throw off your day. I would know, because I grew up with five brothers and had a perma-wedgie from ages 3 - 8. I think it may have permanently damaged my crack, so unless I get the hipster style from Victoria's Secret, those darn wedgies creep up on me again.

About throwing off your day....I had one of those days. You know the ones where everyone seems to pick on you for no good reason? Or one person singles you out as their "make Shelly feel like crap" project of the day? Yeah, one of those. Vertically challenged person at said place of employment decided to power trip on me to make me feel shorter than them. Did not work. Okay, a little bit. Where I wanted to go in the bathroom and cry. But I didn't. Go me.

So after a short venting session with my mother (bless her soul for listening), I was ready to go again. Ready to stick up for myself against that wedgie of a person who needs to wedge themselves in my "crack" just to bug me. I'm going to change my personal undies by "getting a new pair", or not caring what said person thinks. By just being me, and letting my new outlook replace that old, wedgie person. Hope that made sense. I was never too good at allegories.

So pick out your wedgie people....don't let them get to you. There's always a new pair out there.

come visit soon.

I bought these undies not quite knowing what I could wear them for. But they were in my size. And the style I like. And it just so happens that they fit perfectly for the past 24 hours of my life.

Forgive me for being slightly sentimental here. I took a quick trip up to Idaho for Mother's day. I was able to see my beautiful mother and sweet sister - both amazing, selfless mothers. (And a special shout out to my sister in Boise I didn't see!) I could not ask for better examples of wonderful women.

I could share countless stories of why momma is my hero...making me breakfast before I left for dance every morning, or bringing socks to school when I forgot an extra pair for after practice. But it all adds up to just one thing: my momma's massive and inextinguishable amount of love for her family. I am seriously and truly blessed to be born in the family I was.

There's this song by Vanessa Carlton (super girly, I know!) called Carousel. I'm a sucker for some gorgeous piano music and a pretty voice. Let it suffice me to say that every line in this song somehow relates to my life in the past year. I was seriously humbled to realize that in one way or another, I have always had love in my life because of my family. No matter what happens, they still love me for my silly and sometimes stupid self.

And that, my friends, is better than any silly boy's promises that will only be broken, or carton of Ben 'n Jerry's that will only go straight to my hips. I just needed to open up those big eyes of mine a little bit more and see how ridiculously lucky I am. Take a listen to the song if you like:

Keep an eye out for the official video with me, will you? It should be amazing. And the sheet music...so I can play it. Happy Momma's Day.

down & derby.

So lately I've been strapping four wheels onto each foot and attempting to look cool, a.k.a. roller derby! Probably one of the best decisions in my entire life. A workout that doesn't feel like a workout. Something that I feel pretty awesome even having the guts to try doing. And not to mention, all of the ladies that do it are ahhhh-ma-zing. Talented, beautiful, and friendly ladies. That clap for you when you fall down. It's a win-win situation.

The best thing about it all though, is the liberty to wear pretty much whatever you want and fit right in. In the derby dictionary, "no-pants" night = wear underwear or shorts so short they could be underwear with whatever choice of hosiery you prefer. The pair I wore the other night over some pink pantyhose:

 Why, hello there. These make me so happy. Not to mention I wore them to Piper Down afterwards with a few of the girls. The polite people were ones that actually asked instead of just staring.

One thing I've learned though, is derby isn't all about looking pretty. Those girls just make gliding around on skates look easy. If you still think it's easy, try to strap them on after 15 years and try to turn around in them. Not so easy. I'm in a beginning group (yay soy-cheezies!) and we pretty much do all sorts of drills to learn how to skate. Only after we start feeling comfortable on them do they throw us on the track and pray for our souls when someone throws a hit.

Out of all the different sports/yoga/pilates I've done, pretty sure derby takes care of the thighs like no other. A bonus for me since God truly blessed me in that area. Regardless of the workout and feeling cool in fishnets, I'll say it again. These women are amazing ladies that juggle all sorts of things in their lives and still manage to be derby girls. Love it.

If anyone would like more info, you can check out The Red Rockettes on facebook. It's a rec league with newbies and veterans alike all there for the sport.

You, too, can wear your fishnets and be proud...

slightly scandalous. be warned.

Today I did the classic no-no. Wasn't supposed to buy anything...but then came across something I've been trying to find for over two years. A pink & sequin swimsuit. That actually fits. And...are you ready?...

Just a little sneak peak. I'm saving the rest for my trip to Maui in t-3 weeks. I know, I know. It's not "technically" underwear. But it's my blog, my rules. Anything scantily clad = underwear to me from now on. I just couldn't pass it up.

After buying it I went through the whole question thing in my head that every other girl (and their sister, and grandmother, and cute fluffy dog) does. At least I think so. How fat will I look in this? Will the sequins accent any jiggling that occurs? Does the pink give a highlight to the muffin top or draw attention to my tree trunk thighs?

I can seem pretty smiley and confident at times. But guess what? I have major insecurities, too. As well as every other girl (and boy) out there. I don't want this to turn into the classic "love yourself" talk, with Christina Aguilera crooning "you are beautiful" in the background, but really. Who is someone else to tell you what you should wear or what you should look like? Or who qualifies to wear a swimsuit and who doesn't? I found this lil' quote that's a wonderful reminder to at least fake it 'til I make it: When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.

I'm going to wear my pink sequin swimsuit, damn it, and I'm going to wear it well.

Take a trip. Or a hike. Outta here.

I'm getting better at telling what people to stay out of my life. It's hard for me. I like people to like me. So much that in my past I've put my feelings at stake before someone else's, even if they are in the wrong. I'm getting better at using my rational side and listening to it. You know that side that says "Yeah...you're a jerk...and I'm not going to dig you out of it this this time?" That one.

I've always said that I've wanted a person in my life,  'significant other' if you will, that has lived a little bit of life. My pet peeve: someone who is judgemental, or naive. I used to think experience, or "life", makes a person more understanding. It does -  but there are some people who are still just congenital poo-faces, and always will be. Congenital = born with it. And not going to change.

I've gotten to the point where I can at least verbally tell someone, "Hey, you did this awful thing to me, and you're mean." Rational side of Shelly can list out the facts of what happened and make myself feel justified. But the part that makes me "me" is that little emotional part that still believes in the goodness of a complete and utter poo-face. My rose-colored glasses, if you will. The part that questions what I could have done better, what I can change about myself, or  I can take the blame. That part of me is inherent and never going away. I just have to save those little glasses for someone who really deserves it.

Maybe these lil' undies will bring me some more adventures today in telling people where to go. Stay tuned. Listen to these three reasons at the beginning of his video. Fan-freaking-tastic.